There seems to be this overriding presumption that we all have this innate ability to control ourselves. While that might be true, not everyone has the skill set or the knowledge to be able to do so.
The concepts behind mindfulness for men and self-awareness are based on the premise you have the ability to take a step back and look at yourself as others see you. Since all evidence points to this being true, though we do not know exactly why, the question is, “why wouldn’t you make a behaviour change based on self-awareness you could learn through teletherapy?”
Why People Lack Self-Control
To be honest, nobody truly lacks self-control. What they lack is the ability to maintain self-control because they do not know how to get in touch with their inner selves.
The emotions you feel are immensely powerful. Left unchecked, they can drive you to do irrational things. For instance, a happy moment might drive you to hug a stranger without permission. Admittedly, that is only a bad thing if the other person objects. The fear you might feel from seeing a lion ensures you will avoid the lion. That is the right instinct. The point is emotions drive you to react.
Where this is most often a problem is when you react with bad or harmful behaviours after experiencing negative emotions like anger, fear, or sadness. We often see that with people who fall into the cycle of addiction. Their lack of self-control makes it impossible for them to not abuse substances. They simply choose to self-medicate around their negative emotions.
People lack the ability to maintain self-control because they do not know how to see themselves or their actions objectively. They have little to no self-awareness. They keep everything personal and internalized to the point they eventually lose control. What is missing is the ability to regulate their emotions.
Mindfulness is a great strategy for emotion regulation.
How Mindfulness (Self Awareness) Can Lead to Behavior Change
When someone has the ability to step back and look at themselves objectively, they possess a gift. It is a gift that is fully attainable by anyone willing to make a conscious effort to find it, maybe through online counseling for men. Do you possess the gift of self-awareness as of yet??
Very few people approve of their negative behaviours. The problem is they don’t know how to make a behaviour change because they don’t have a sense of what’s gone awry. The ability to tap into one’s mindfulness mediates that problem. When someone can see their disconnect, see the issue clearly, fixing it becomes a matter of looking for solutions.
Mindfulness for men is a particularly sensitive area. Men live with the outside expectation they are to be strong, in control, and can manage their emotions. Of course, emotions have nothing to do with gender. All humans travel through the full spectrum of emotions. Yes, men have behavioural problems associated with their emotions. Yes, they need a mechanism to help them with behaviour change. Mindfulness for men is one of those mechanisms.
How Teletherapy Can Increase Self Awareness
If you are not used to connecting with your inner self, you will probably have difficulty doing so. If you are a man, you could probably use some extra help in the area of mindfulness for men.
Teletherapy works. When working with a top therapist, you can use them as a sounding board. They can teach you how to use the words and thoughts that you communicate to them to connect to your inner self. Over time, you will find your mindfulness becoming more acute. The ways you can keep increasing your self-awareness are to practice it, meditate on it, reflect on it, write about it, and turn it into positive actions.
I’m Kamal Ahmed, LMFT. I founded iMan Therapy because I saw a need for online therapy for men. Counseling with a special focus on issues men and young adults deal with every day. I provide only online counseling. San Jose based, iMan Therapy is here to help. Click on the button below if you’d like to talk about us working together.