There seems to be this overriding presumption that we all have this innate ability to control ourselves. While that might be true, not everyone has the skill set or the knowledge to be able to do so.

The concepts behind mindfulness for men and self-awareness are based on the premise you have the ability to take a step back and look at yourself as others see you. Since all evidence points to this being true, though we do not know exactly why, the question is, “why wouldn’t you make a behaviour change based on self-awareness you could learn through teletherapy?”

Why People Lack Self-Control

To be honest, nobody truly lacks self-control. What they lack is the ability to maintain self-control because they do not know how to get in touch with their inner selves.

The emotions you feel are immensely powerful. Left unchecked, they can drive you to do irrational things. For instance, a happy moment might drive you to hug a stranger without permission. Admittedly, that is only a bad thing if the other person objects. The fear you might feel from seeing a lion ensures you will avoid the lion. That is the right instinct. The point is emotions drive you to react.

Where this is most often a problem is when you react with bad or harmful behaviours after experiencing negative emotions like anger, fear, or sadness. We often see that with people who fall into the cycle of addiction. Their lack of self-control makes it impossible for them to not abuse substances. They simply choose to self-medicate around their negative emotions.

People lack the ability to maintain self-control because they do not know how to see themselves or their actions objectively. They have little to no self-awareness. They keep everything personal and internalized to the point they eventually lose control. What is missing is the ability to regulate their emotions.

Mindfulness is a great strategy for emotion regulation.

How Mindfulness (Self Awareness) Can Lead to Behavior Change

When someone has the ability to step back and look at themselves objectively, they possess a gift. It is a gift that is fully attainable by anyone willing to make a conscious effort to find it, maybe through online counseling for men. Do you possess the gift of self-awareness as of yet??

Very few people approve of their negative behaviours. The problem is they don’t know how to make a behaviour change because they don’t have a sense of what’s gone awry. The ability to tap into one’s mindfulness mediates that problem. When someone can see their disconnect, see the issue clearly, fixing it becomes a matter of looking for solutions.

Mindfulness for men is a particularly sensitive area. Men live with the outside expectation they are to be strong, in control, and can manage their emotions. Of course, emotions have nothing to do with gender. All humans travel through the full spectrum of emotions. Yes, men have behavioural problems associated with their emotions. Yes, they need a mechanism to help them with behaviour change. Mindfulness for men is one of those mechanisms.

How Teletherapy Can Increase Self Awareness

If you are not used to connecting with your inner self, you will probably have difficulty doing so. If you are a man, you could probably use some extra help in the area of mindfulness for men.

Teletherapy works. When working with a top therapist, you can use them as a sounding board. They can teach you how to use the words and thoughts that you communicate to them to connect to your inner self. Over time, you will find your mindfulness becoming more acute. The ways you can keep increasing your self-awareness are to practice it, meditate on it, reflect on it, write about it, and turn it into positive actions.

I’m Kamal Ahmed, LMFT. I founded iMan Therapy because I saw a need for online therapy for men. Counseling with a special focus on issues men and young adults deal with every day. I provide only online counseling. San Jose based, iMan Therapy is here to help. Click on the button below if you’d like to talk about us working together.

But it can be Crippling 

Being a teenager can be an awkward time. It’s often difficult and even confusing.

You’re no longer a child. But you’re not quite an adult either.

There’s also a tremendous amount of learning involved. Much of it contradicts what you’ve already learned.

Which makes it important that you figure out your new definition of what’s right and what’s wrong.

To further complicate things, there are so many changes going on with your body.

This includes fluctuations in hormones, such as estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. Ever heard the term raging hormones? As these hormones flow through your body, they can cause you to feel and think differently than you ever have.

I’m in a unique position, in that it wasn’t all that long ago that I was a teenager.

This is important because as all teens, I went through many of the same things that you may be going through right now. And it was recent enough that I remember the challenges, and what I did to get through.

I’ve spent the majority of my life learning why people feel the way that they do. And the best ways to get someone who is struggling or has lost their way, back on track.

Add that with over a decade of study and training, and I genuinely feel I’m in a good position to help.

There are many reasons teens turn to drugs. Often, it’s to escape boredom, stress or something that’s troubling them about their lives.

And many times it’s something as simple as peer pressure.

But what I’m going to focus on here is the problem of teen substance abuse as a crutch. This is when the substance being abused, whether it be alcohol, quasi-legal drug-like marijuana or an illegal substance is being used to mask unpleasant feelings, like feeling worried, anxious, or stressed out.

We usually need crutches when we suffer from a broken leg. This is of course, fine and to be expected.

But what isn’t fine is using alcohol or drugs as a crutch – an emotional crutch.

Instead, it’s much better for you to take some time to work through the feelings that are causing you to drink or take drugs. Whether you are doing it to feel better about yourself. Or so you feel you “fit in”.

This is where there’s a good chance that I can help.

I’m not going to sit there and preach to you. I’ve been on both ends of those conversations. And I know from experience that they are typically unproductive and just don’t work.

Instead, we can just talk. Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure I’ve experienced it myself. Either directly or through having helped someone else work through it.

And you can be sure that I’ll be sympathetic. My goal is never to judge you. It’s to help you figure things out. And to help you become the happiest and best version of you that you can be.

I’m Kamal Ahmed, a therapist in San Jose. But since 100% of my practice is done through online therapy, I can work with anyone in California. Online therapy, also known as Tele counseling and teletherapy is both effective and widely used.

Online therapy has been around since the mid-80s, but it has really come into its own in the last several years due to advances in technology.

And of course, with the Coronavirus pandemic, online therapy has become the fastest-growing segment of psychotherapy.

So if any of this sounds familiar, talk to your parents about it. And then let’s set a time so we can all talk. So we can see if you and I working together is going to be a good fit.